MATTERS OF FACT!

Love, as a necessary construct is missing. When I observe society and consider our present state of affairs I find that many of our social ills are the direct result of a lack of love. Our politics and policies would look very different if we insisted on compassion and empathy as the framework for governance.

Liberals and conservatives occupy the landscape like they are the only choices we have available. These two predominant points of view, in their present makeup, fail to accurately present the growing concerns of the vast majority of our population. As awareness, of the deep departure from the principles of our founding, matures, more and more people are wanting to return to our roots.

As diversity is touted as the pinnacle of enlightenment we discover that “political correctness” has only camouflaged the corruption of special interests. Back-room deals, constitutional ignorance, and an out of control elite class has run our country off course. There’s a rising mandate to recover from years of dysfunction and abuse of power.

We’re living in an echo chamber where we have been trading deficits with imaginary progress. We have sliced and diced our way into divisions and clicks that can only be described as mass detachment from reality. We have erected totems that represent attitudes of self-centeredness and selfish thinking that epitomizes the worst of humanity. For all of our accumulated knowledge, we lack the basic restraints needed for recognizing the unalienable rights of every living person.

It’s time to … 

I’m not inviting or encouraging nullifying any genuine progress that is universally beneficial, without violation, and non-threatening. I am advocating for authentic and transparent leadership, accountability to our oaths, and a willingness to respect our principles as we heal ourselves from the wounds of manipulation. I’m promoting personal responsibility as the means to charter chaotic waters. I’m saying we have not yet found our best selves.

The acknowledgment that what we’re doing isn’t working as a society is the beginning of our rebirth. What lies ahead is alterable. Personalities that provide lip service and false promises are losing their grip on our people. More and more rhetoric is being dissected and schemes to strip us of our power is being uncovered. A return to love affords us the opportunities we need to correct our path.

I’m excited and filled with hope for the future before us. I believe in our ability to regain our destiny. As we face our challenges we do so with the determination that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is still a possibility for all of us. We have a lot of work to do but, the work has already begun. Let us not grow weary in the worthy endeavor of triumphing over times of prevailing corruption.

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THE MISSING INGREDIENT!

Extremism has taken over our world. The absence of love has allowed for chaos and corruption to rule in nearly every segment of society. We often treat each other with a disregard for the inherent value we all share. Life is sacred and must be respected and valued for the virtue awarded to each of us by just being here, alive on the planet.

Competition has become the distracter to the greater challenge of learning to love. We have lost our ability to dialogue and substituted monologue in its place. Our differences are not things to fear. Rather, it affords us an opportunity to discuss the many challenges we face and explain why we think what we think. We aren’t likely to agree on every issue. But, we should relish the chance to offer the reasons for things we hold in high regard.

Extremism acts as a religion whereby we use politics to gain an advantage over others. Our Republic was carefully crafted to ensure the protection of our individual rights. The second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence states; “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

The erosion of these rights has evolved with a fierce and violent infringement. While many have sought to redefine love as only being applicable to a select group of our choosing, we have accepted the stupor of living insensibly. If any has lost recognition as being inherently valuable we have all lost. I contend that love, for ourselves and one another, is the way for each of us to move forward! 

Love is the mark we can’t afford to miss. It is the only blueprint that makes inclusion possible, and the only means of avoiding discrimination. Our challenges are unique opportunities to bring the best out of ourselves. When we refuse to see one another as problems and see the sacredness we each possess we take significant steps to make the world a better place.

Love is the missing ingredient!

Twitter: @RickAmitin

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How To Know IF You’re Seeing Things Correctly!

Image courtesy of Max Pixel

I’m a mixed breed! Accepting that is as pure as it gets for me. Giving up trying to be a thoroughbred, of any kind, has freed me from pining about pedigree.

 

Recognizable Specificity

I don’t fit everywhere. Thankfully, I no longer want to. The assumed task of pleasing everyone is an indomitable endeavor. And, I have never been content forfeiting me. Approval can be fleeting and laden with hypocrisy. When other people celebrate you, only because you accommodate their desires, conflict is inevitable. Peace of mind can’t happen in your absence.

I know people who listen to only one type of music. That just doesn’t work for me. Rhythms and lyrics affect me, like all mediums do, and I want to have a say in the feeling I’m experiencing when I’m listening, reading, or observing. I’ve learned to appreciate difference, any single point of view could never account for my multiple channels. I have a simple requirement, I insist on being lifted up.

I avoid things that bring me down, make me conscious of negativity, or disrupt my intention to reside in a state of harmony. A single focus doesn’t mean narrow in scope. Paintings, books, science, nature, an ambient restaurant, a small child, or a cloud formation are just a few of the many opportunities for tranquility. Life is full of beauty.

Every vibe isn’t virtuous. Anything that causes me to turn-on myself has slipped past my radar. I know immediately if I’m berating, belittling, or hating on me I’m  suffering vision impairment. And, whenever I’m flirting with consternation, pouring out wrath on others, smoke is in my eyes. Clear vision builds you and others.

CORRECTIVE LENSES

Anger has never had 20/20 vision. I speak from experience. I was angry for much of my life. I plunged into being angry at my anger. Much of my anger was justified. But here is the problem; anger, left to its own devices, blurs vision. We can be upset for good reason but, unless we are willing to turn our passion into purpose, we are left to stew in destructive heat.

Image courtesy of SS Jason McCasland via USAF

Anger is not an invitation to hate, though it is often interpreted that way. It is, in fact, a call to action. Anger is a compliment of trust. Its simply requesting our attention. Desiring to show us a way forward. Giving us opportunities for growth. Providing insight to our unique set of challenge solving skills. Anger chooses us, to make something better.

Being betrayed and violated is disturbing. Almost as troubling as personal dysfunction. When we are done wrong… (Hey, it happens, and will undoubtedly happen again) its decision time. Just because someone decides to live in the basement is no reason to move out of the penthouse. We can be thankful that we won’t be investing anymore of ourselves in things we don’t want in our lives.

As Maya Angelou so ably instructed, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” I believe in forgiveness, redemption, and second chances; I couldn’t be here if I didn’t. But disrespect and broken trust leaves little to build on. Repairs are possible with collaboration. I try to remember that what people do is not as important as why they do it.  Understanding that what happened might be the best there is in the moment.

When I resist the temptation to cause pain and intentionally strive to serve my mission, serving others, that’s how I know I’m seeing things correctly.

How do you see it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What You Can Do Without A Father!

The gash on my innards was remarkable! It affected everything about me.  My lack of understanding led me to misdiagnose who I really am. Every time I retold my story, adding polish and pizzazz,  I increased the strength of the lies. I was open to trickery and manipulation. Thank God for false teeth.

Image courtesy of apdk via flickr

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

My grandmother put me on a chair thinking I would watch her through the window as she hung the clothes on the line. I was a year and half old. Instead, I climbed over two wash tubs and into the wringer washing machine. Mimicking her, I stuck my hand into the wringer. Half way up my arm the wringer kept spinning, round and around, burning a nice scare into my forearm. She came in to find me face down in the water.

As my body grew the wound on my arm grew too. I’m use to it, of course, but everyone who sees it wants to know what happened. Being the consummate communicator that I am, I fashioned a story of a trip to New Orleans where as a young man I wrestled alligators. Toothless, mind you. Getting pinned underneath the ferocious creature, his rough skin tore up my arm. Hey, I convinced quite a few, before I would come clean!

Things happen to us and they stay with us. Childhood issues become adult problems. We make up stories because they sound better than the truth. We learn to talk about it in a way that garners sympathy to avoid the questions we don’t have answers to. What we really want is to find resolution for our dilemmas.

The first step to coming clean is to admit there’s nothing wrong with you. Our thoughts and feelings might be askew but that’s not who we are. The issues that often plague us didn’t originate with us. We deal with generational and cultural dynamics that must be taken into account in order to be intentional about resolving inner conflicts.

I had a hole inside, the shape of my father. His abandonment of me caused an emptiness that sprouted and flourished. Permeating every segment of my life. I gave myself an unconscious pass. I didn’t know, for many years, the root of my anguish. I artificially inseminated with sex, substances, rock & Roll, and religion and nothing birthed peace of mind.

When we are able to identify the ramifications of our beginnings we are able to focus on our endings. The scars will always be there but the pain doesn’t have to be. We don’t have to implode, repeat self-destructive habits, or remain chained to propaganda. We are not wrong to see what’s right. It’s wonderful to work together, to correct errors, with the people who participated in the mistakes but, it’s not required.

OUR POWER IS IN BEING WILLING TO FATHER OURSELVES

My father died without me ever getting to know him. I needed him to change my life I was in serious trouble. Let’s get real; whether your father is dead or alive moving on is your responsibility not his. We can’t hate on our fathers without hating on ourselves and becoming like them as a result.

Image courtesy of Katmary via flickr

My third step father was the most miserable human being I ever knew. He was angry and bitter. Jealous, insecure, and competitive. I could go on with an endless list of negatives. At times, I hated his very existence. I only lived with him for a few years, leaving home at fifteen, but, I was influenced by his behavior.  I was not happy when some of his characteristics showed up in me.

Managing dysfunction doesn’t provide a path to change. I learned, the hard way, that what you hate is deficient. It’s what you love that’s fruitful. Spending time trying to alter the thinking, attitudes, and actions of others are obstacles of distractions. We can’t rewrite our own stories when we are preoccupied with the stories that other people are holding on to.

Transformation happens when we change our feeling, of being defective or damaged, to a feeling of being whole. A primary function of fatherhood is to validate children. If that wasn’t executed we have to take matters into our own hands. We give ourselves permission to rise above broken trust. If we don’t we’re apt to be a continuation of the things we despise.

Here’s the kicker, our fathers may be locked in their own fatherlessness. They may not be capable or willing of being any different. We have to make a choice about what we will do separate from them. When we accept our own value we are able to affirm ourselves, gain clarity, and establish a sense of worthiness. We then start attracting people and things based on a new paradigm.

LIFE IN THE FATHERLESS LANE

I was always excited to listen to him talk. He was someone I highly respected. I loved his concepts. Then he said this: “You don’t get what you want in life – you get what you are”. I didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. I thought, he couldn’t mean that. How could that be true?  I immediately began to wrestle those words to the ground. Guess what? Those words are frightfully correct.

In the sanctuary of our private worlds reside the potential for everything that is possible. What we believe about ourselves determines what we experience. How we see ourselves is how we see everything else. When things didn’t work out the way I hoped it wasn’t because they shouldn’t, it was because they couldn’t. Everything in life operates by principle and not by luck.

Fathers are impact players. When our fathers are missing or fail everyone involved is affected. Even if we lose a father by premature death his absence has consequences.  We are either very thankful for who they are or very hurt by who they weren’t. Good or bad we deal with the circumstances surrounding our relationships with our fathers.

Fatherless men can be unsure of themselves, acting timid or overcompensating. Living in a conundrum to love women without stealing their power and struggling to mentor their children without abuse. Women without fathers can battle low self-esteem, fear abandonment, or develop negative coping skills. Men and women can operate out of greed rather than contribution. These are only a few of the many pitfalls we can fall into and there are exceptions to every rule.

Image courtesy of couguar via flickr

I failed miserably before I succeeded. I experienced setbacks in love, life, and vocation until I dealt with my father issues. Don’t worry about what is behind you, be concerned with what is in front of you. And, don’t fret over people who choose to only see your past. That’s all about where they are not where you are. There’s no need to fear moving on.

All adversity has optional outcomes. We can choose to be the victim or the victor! 

For more information on personal transformation pick up a copy of my book,

If Only I Had A Dad: Finding Freedom From Fatherlessness. http://amzn.to/2lMHJ9t

 

 

 

 

Is Your Flight Overbooked?

LIFE FLIGHT 

According to the Air Traffic Controllers Association, 87,000 flights crisscross the United States, every day. With a population of over 300 million people there are countless dreams and aspirations filling our air space. Gifts and talents, robed in passion, attempt to take-off and land successfully every minute of the day. Over-booking is more common than the average person notices.

Image courtesy of Janine Forder via LinkedIn

Over half a million people were voluntarily or involuntarily denied boarding a scheduled commercial flight, in 2015. (Bureau of Transportation Statistics) If there was a way to actually see, how many people had their dreams grounded, we could all share in the collective disappointment. It’s empowering indeed to be able to order discouragement off your plane.

It’s legal for Airlines to overbook flights for the sole purpose of insuring their success. They need us but, aren’t afraid to abuse us, when it serves them. We can fill our plane with too much and too many. We can’t do everything; we aren’t meant too. It’s all to common to spread ourselves so thin that we aren’t proficient at anything. Many of us are too busy to be successful. Talk about turbulence! Rising above the clouds is about being able to do more of what you want and less of what you don’t.

Some things are not within our control. Many things are. Sometimes we have excess baggage. We can carry it with us, if we are willing, to pay the high rate for the privilege. If we will take the time to analyze, value verses cost, we can streamline our travel experience. Things like self-doubt, fear, and intimidation are unnecessary items. Removing them from our luggage makes for a more pleasurable flight.

Flight Path

The unexpected can happen, anytime. Careful planning can help minimize negative effects or manage jubilation. If what we don’t want shows up, it can throw us into chaos. Even getting what we hope for, can catch us off guard, and cause our plane to shake, rattle, and roll.

Image courtesy of pixabay

Prioritizing requires honesty and  sound decision-making. Keeping goals out in front eases inner conflicts. The new trend is to manage tasks instead of time. We should protect ourselves from the illusion, that all activity is productive. We can work tirelessly without getting the results we’re looking for. Doing things that lose sight of our mission is a trap to be avoided. Most people relax once takeoff is accomplished. We mustn’t forget the importance of landing. Success never just happens.

Our daily routine must include an inspection of our flight controls. If we hope to get air-born and safely touch down in our deepest aspirations, it’s a good idea to insure everything is working properly. Repairs are wisely done on the ground. Lots of effort is used up on things that aren’t getting us any closer to accomplishing our dreams. Many things that are distasteful or unpleasant, must be attended to, if we hope to see progress.

TRAVEL AGENT

I used to travel often. Back when flight crews were fun and the skies were friendly. More often than not, nowadays, your treated like a cold-hearted obligation or even an inconvenience. How dare you board our plane with any expectation of quality care! Too many service providers have forgotten, or decided against, great service. I appreciate quality and attention to detail. Something I encourage is a customer first mentality.

Image courtesy of pampy96 via commons.wikimedia

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you! Then treat others the same way. Distance yourself from haters and dissenters. You are within your rights to bump them from your flight. Your success might depend on your willingness to exercise courage. One reason there are so many flights is because everyone is not going to the same place.

Success will forever be a foreign country to some. Once you decide where you are going you can work on your passport. Since we define success for ourselves we educate accordingly. Jack Canfield and many other experts travelers, offer this frequent flyer tip; “success is found in your daily routine.”

To avoid getting bumped from life, pick up a copy of my book: http://amzn.to/2lMHJ9t

 

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Got Time For A Heart Attack?

OK! I took time out to have a heart attack.

Don’t cry. On second thought, go ahead and cry. They tell me there’s no visible signs of damage to my heart. I told them they need a machine that will show heart-breaks not just heartaches. My physical organ only tells part of my story. Metaphorically, I have plenty of scar tissue on this ole ticker of mine.

They asked me what I thought caused my heart attack. Having never experienced chest pains or any other symptoms, I told them I had just released a book about a week ago and the sales were so disappointing that it clogged my arteries and sent me to the ER.

They said, that’s probably not the cause. Totally ignoring a possible intangible truth, they launched, into a diatribe on how important it will be to switch to a heart healthy diet, and an exercise regimen. You can see what I’m dealing with here.

I seem to be doing fine even-though, I completely failed in convincing the Dr. to use a different explanation to describe my medical event. Heart Attack, he insisted. You had a heart attack. Other than getting me to take it all seriously I can’t, for the life of me, figure out his resolve. I’m dumbfounded by his stern diagnosis.

Anyway, if you think I’m slow to respond or acting out of sorts, just know I’m waiting for the raw carrots and broccoli to kick in. I expect to be back to myself in no time. Other than making errors, in everyday activities of daily living, I’m determined to return to active duty, fully myself.

Resisting the temptation to over-spiritualize my unwanted and uninvited interruption I can’t turn down the invitation to pay attention to matters of the heart. It does appear that our hearts are prone to unsuspecting combat. If we see ourselves engaged in meaningful work it’s easy to notice that poor diet and lack of extraneous exertion will have a derogatory presence.

Eating a steady diet of fast foods like rejection, unworthiness, and isolation will render us immobile and inactive. We can ignore the need to exercise goodwill, toward ourselves and others, leaving us where prevention is too late and a cure is required. Remember, if you have burned with anger, unforgiveness, and self-loathing it’s never to late to quit smoking. We can all give up fried hatred; self-directed or otherwise.

Energy and good health are necessary to a vibrant life. Giving up is not appealing unless you are headed in the wrong direction, thinking wrong thoughts, or allowing self-defeating attitudes to clog the ever-important circulatory system. Think”heart health!”

My book “If Only I Had A Dad: Finding Freedom From Fatherlessness” is good for what ails us; what ails our hearts. If you have lived with a broken heart, struggled to know who you are, desired more clarity, and would like to know how to treat the high cholesterol chaos running through our collective humanity, give this book a chance.

If my book doesn’t make you cry, laugh, and leave you hopeful email me! I know a good shrink I can refer you to. Just joking; sort of!

http://amzn.to/2ktT3GX

Get the free Companion Workbbook at: ifonlyihadadad.gr8.com

Leftovers!

Image by Muffet on flickr

Coming out of the holiday season, adjusting my belt to accommodate comfort, I admit to overindulging. I’m not going to complain I’m just going to get going on the physical health aspect of what I want to be in the new year.

I know some people who frankly believe eating leftovers is the worst thing you can do. They turn their noses up at the idea and look at you as if you’re completely without polish or sophistication. I have worked this until I’m not the least bit bothered. Turkey and ham sandwiches the next couple of days is right up my alley.

As we go into the new year many of us will be dealing with leftovers. Not only the ones in all the pretty little Tupperware containers, but personal and/or professional business that didn’t get completed.

If you shot for the stars and hit the moon you’re probably celebrating like a Boss. But, if you left goals and commitments unaccomplished you might be suffering a hangover that doesn’t require any alcohol to inflict its head pounded displeasure. What a difference a day makes is nothing compared to the changing landscape of a year in review.

Whether it is original to John Lennon or not I picked up a favorite quote from him; “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.” Before we launch in to pick up where we left off we might want to inventory why this is leftover and does it still fit with what I completed and discovered in the last twelve months.

Image via comedy_nose on flickr

After the third day I have kind of had my fill of the leftover ham and turkey. I have to get rid of the bounty of sugar goodies that linger on the shelves and in my secret hiding places. It’s time to end the reprieve and get back to business. Christmas is my favorite season but I’ve learned to greet it warmly and definitively get over it all quickly.

My plans for this year are lofty. challenging, and will take more than I am to fulfill. I’m making my choices on purpose. Being more deliberate than I have ever been. I have no thoughts of failing. While I am not oblivious, to the many obstacles and threats facing my best intentions, I know personal resolve is the only way things get done.

by Ryan Altermera on flickr

I’m stating my objectives clearly, sharing my dreams openly, and I vow to hold myself accountable. I give my inner-circle permission to call me out for any and all excuse making. I’m not the only one counting on me. Others are hoping for my success and will benefit from my achievements. I don’t want to let any of us down.

I’m interested in you, your dreams, and knowing you are reaching your best life. Please let share where you see yourself one year from now.

 

The Way to the Greater Thing!

by kyo-kun 1997 at deviantart

Deep inside, where only two sets of eyes can see it, lies the dream yet to emerge. It’s a recent spark for some. For others, it’s the longest fuse known to man. It sits there fizzling like a firecracker waiting to explode. We wouldn’t have the inclination if it wasn’t possible. What do I have to do, to see this thing live, outside my body?

PAIN OR PLEASURE!

We learn from two paradigms. Pain or pleasure. One says, this is the way to do it. It screams, do more of it. The other says, this will never work. And bellows, stop doing what you’re doing. What moves us to act one way or another?

PERCEPTION AND ATTITUDE!

Desire is neither good or bad until I express it. My interpretation of life events encourages behavior. If I believe in a great conspiracy, to thwart my best efforts, I remain locked in immobility. Waiting for some external force to secure my release. Good luck with that.

If I see obstacles I can address them with strategy. If what I want, is beyond what’s in front of me, action is required. Move it. Go through it. Go around it. By all means necessary-get there. You’re smart enough, talented enough, and have what it takes to wrestle opposition into cooperation. You either want it or you don’t. Be honest.

Comparing myself to others is an efficient way to ignore my uniqueness. Find people who are where you want to be. Interrogate them to death. DO NOT DUPLICATE THEM! Common denominators present in every successful person is a great foundation. If I imitate, I will be a terrible them, and a lousy me. Principles have to be retro-fitted to your own skill set. Not compromised. Adapted. The dream is you. For you. And about you. If you let your dream die, you and the entire world will be denied the benefits of why you are alive on the planet.

THE WHY AND THE WHAT!

I always ask myself, why did this happen? I’ve come to realize, the answer is irrevocably the same, for every question. To wake me up. If I don’t pay attention I can end up paying a body shop, a traffic ticket, a doctor, or a divorce lawyer. Maybe I need to wake up to the good things in my life. Things I’ve been ignoring. Wake up means, it’s time to get up, and go up! No one is created to be a bottom feeder living a discounted life. 

 When I started selling health insurance I had a routine. After every appointment, whether I closed the sale or not, I asked myself the same question. Why? Why did I close that sale or why didn’t I close that sale. I wrote everything in a journal. I kept what worked and got rid of what didn’t. I ending up building an agency with 83 commission only agents. Doing more than 5 million dollars a year in new business.

Success and failure isn’t about luck. Both are the result of intention. I never deliberately intended to fail. However, I had to learn a hard lesson. Without an intention to succeed failure is what you get. I can trace every gain or lose to my thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and actions. An unbiased analysis shows how I, set myself up, every time.

c/o en.wikipedia.org

I don’t believe in a strait line to the top. Some people do get there faster than others. But I don’t allow myself to begrudge successful people. Many of them have more failures than successes. I know success is the result of never giving up. They had to do the hard work of navigating their shortcomings and honing their strengths. They learned the power of leveraging. Sustainability happens when the desire to give is equal to or greater than the desire to get. What I do is not as important as why I do it.

Now matter what happens, the more important question is, what do I do next? Whether I’m trying to get on top or stay on top, after every win or loss I ask myself, what now? Whether you crashed and burned or landed on the moon you want to know why. You want to know what to do next. The question is relevant to arriving in my dream.

I was born because of intention. I have an intention for my life. We are all the same in that regard. Life is about discovering what that intention is. The greater thing is connected to mastery. Wishful thinking doesn’t give life. It’s a destructive distraction. A willingness to become proficient, at whatever beckons at your heart, is one of those known secrets everybody wants to avoid talking about. Show yourself how serious you are and the universe will help you out. You are meant to win. Don’t let your circumstances talk you out of it.

The method of Exchange!

c/o commons.wikipedia.org

What do you need to learn? Do you have clarity? Do you need systems? Are you accountable to someone? Do you have a team? Find mentors, classes, online tutorials. Get plugged in to groups that share your aspirations. Live in the real world. Synthetic virtual friendships can fail to deliver adequate support. Volunteer in places that do what you are passionate about.

Invest in yourself and other will too. Don’t show up expecting to get for free what you intend to charge for. Pay for your dream and it will pay you back. Not having money is no excuse. Barter. Trade. Do whatever it takes. People want to help. Ask. Seek. Knock. You can do what you are meant for.

Refuse to be denied! That’s the way to the greater thing. 

 

 

Who do you THINK you are?

The search for meaning is universal. Astrology, philosophy, theology, and many other avenues are readily available for exploration. Finding yourself can be a lifelong occupation. Discovering who you are before you expire is admirable. But, if you don’t have enough time left to build a life on what you learn, what’s the point?

Don’t give up – get focused!

c/o en.wikipedia.org

A number of years ago (no need to get specific here) it was very popular to ask people, what’s your sign? When it comes to romance, the notion that the stars could align to provide a soulmate, is intoxicating. Wait a minute. In 2011 major news outlets reported that the Earth’s rotation changed the zodiac signs. Does that mean I’m not who I think I am? Is there an impending identity crisis being thrust upon mankind? No worries, mate. You can’t release an epidemic on an already infected population.

Cultural trends have a shelf life. A fad alters things in the moment. Things like clothing styles and music tastes change. Often. Even the arts have to remain fluid to hold our interest. For something to last, it has to extend from our desires, that don’t change. You can be insanely popular today and a distant memory tomorrow. I think what comes and goes reflects our willingness for distractions. What endures reveals what’s important to us.

When Mark Zukerberg launched “The facebook” in 2004 he tapped into our abiding passion for connection. From zero, to over one and a half billion users, Facebook continues to grow. As with anything this large it points-out strengths and weaknesses. It show-cases what’s real and what’s not. Bringing out the best and worst in it’s subscribers. It does provide an opportunity, for people to declare, who they think they are.

by Lowrider-girl

From a single horse drawn carriage to a 280 horse-powered car, we’ve advanced our inclinations, to go places. In just a few hours in a plane we can cross the country. A few more hours and we can travel the globe. The potential of human beings is experienced with every achievement. From building massive cruise ships, to landing on the moon, our capabilities find expression. These things tell us what we can do – not who we are!

Taking notice of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, it’s clear, we are all just one idea away from the next big thing. We can record a hit song. Write a best seller. Paint a masterpiece. Develop new technologies. Make millions of dollars. But, who are we? With all of our advancements the world stays it’s course of disrupted harmony. Lacking in peace, we carry the ills of our shared community. What we do isn’t as important as why we do it.

by johnhain

I wouldn’t want to be in a world where I couldn’t be touched by the talents of fellow sojourners. I have so many moments to reflect on when my heart was lifted by another human being. Celebrating life is grand. When I think about the insurmountable suffering I have neighboring my delight, it gives me pause. If I let it become depressing I won’t have a response. But if it awakens me I will find a place of impact. If I become desensitized-I become cynical.

My life review includes disappointments. My own mostly. I’ve also experienced sponsors of terror. Willing contributors to my anxiety. How people see themselves dictate relationships. In a fast moving world, it can be tough, to find a place to rest. Providing the ability to redefine priorities.

I have accomplishments. I want more. I’ve figured out if I only want to achieve heights, for self-aggrandizement, it leaves fulfillment wanting. My greatest times of satisfaction come when I’m being to someone else, what they cannot be to themselves, in that moment. My best thrills haven’t come from a stage of applause. Which can disappear in a nanosecond. No. It’s been from the life-changing look in the eyes of the thankful. Who didn’t have the words to express that defining moment in their life. When I supplied a hug. A listening ear. A meal. Encouragement. A pair of shoes for a little boy. Sharing tears without judgement.  Who knows? what it means to them! The effect it has on me is priceless.

How many of us laughed hysterically at Bill Engvall’s, Here’s your sign? I won’t expound on the jokes themselves. They’re easily found online. But the premise fits my subject. Are there signs available to help find one’s self? Your talent may not be your gatekeeper. What makes you tick? (the thing or things that get you excited) What ticks you off? (the thing or things that make you hopping mad) These are signs to who you are. Read them and respond from the heart. Feeling the way you do offers an introduction to your destiny. Solving problems, for ourselves and for others, leads to significance.

by sheepdog319

Perhaps Gandhi said it best; “Be the change you want to see in the world.” 

With all the talent running loose it hasn’t eliminated chaos. Relieved our pain. Or made us better. A personal definition of success is what instructs the individual. What I think, commands my energy. I question any stage that doesn’t lift its audience.

I ask myself;  Who do you THINK you are?

 

 

 

Adventures in Marty! 5

Leelee says, I’m going to grill you a steak and make a tossed salad. Do you want a vegetable? No, says Alex. But do we have any baked beans? She replies, I think so, as she gets up to look. He continues with more details of his day. I want to hear all about it, Alex. Give me a minute to start the grill. He keeps talking even when she goes outside. He’s more keyed-up than he realizes.

by pixabay

She sets the table. Throws the salad together and checks on the steaks. Come to the table, Alex. He hasn’t stopped talking. In between his sentences she calculates how to talk about her day. Sliding his steak in front of him he proclaims, that looks great, Honey. I’m starving. As Leelee sits down, he continues his discourse. She encourages him to talk privately with the guy that let him down. Maybe you just need to clear the air, she offers. He’s disappointed. It’s not about you.

Marty understands the value of life. How precious it is. How fragile it can be. The challenges is poses. And the rewards it offers. Leelee is a bit tense. Her nap helped. But her stress level about Alex is rising. They’ve been able to communicate about most things gracefully. Alex can be competitive. High strung. And he can come off as forceful. She has no problem declaring her feelings. This is different. This isn’t style or color preferences. A baby will change their lives forever.

As Marty comforts the developing life he whispers to Leelee and Alex. They don’t see the big picture. They think the decision to have a baby starts with them. He will expose them to the deeper meaning of life.

Alex was raised by a single mother. A fabulous lady. Devoted to her only child. His father had walked out on them when he was young. Leaving for another woman. He doesn’t have a relationship with his dad. He adores his mom. But he has many questions about his father. His mom worked hard to stabilize his life but his masculinity can be volatile. Alex was taught to believe in God without any participation in organized religion.

Leelee was brought up with both parents. Her home was solid. Full of love. She’s close to her parents and siblings. She doesn’t have questions about being wanted. Or where she belongs. She was groomed for a good life. Mentored on how to get it. Her family went to church and believes life is spiritual. When she went to college her involvement with her church waned. But her beliefs remain strong.

After marriage Leelee expected they would get involved in a church. She’s a Methodist. Alex doesn’t claim any religion for his own. She’s disappointed with his lack of interest. He doesn’t want to be a regular attendee. She has gone without him but doesn’t like it. He often suggests they do other things on Sundays. While they haven’t fought about it, there is concern, especially for Leelee.

c/o YouTube.com

For now, Marty is the major influence for the baby to be.  This bundle of joy will soon be subjected to every kind of thinking there is. Everything in the world operates through thought processes. Attitudes dictate actions. Beliefs decide family dynamics, political structures, and religious persuasion. There’s a short space of time to establish the best directives. After those virtuous moments pass it’s all about correcting the errors. Marty labors to prepare the baby, the parents, and the environment.

Alex slows his semi pleasant diatribe during dinner. By the time the meal is over he ended his story-telling. Rising from the table he kisses Leelee on the cheek. That was a wonderful meal, Babe. You’re welcome, she counters. He heads back to his chair as Leelee cleans up. Her thoughts take her to a place of solitude. She barely notices that Alex dozes off to sleep. Finishing her after dinner chores she retreats to the living room. She’s decided how she’ll open the conversation.

by Michael Styne

Sitting on the couch she watches Alex in his peaceful slumber. His focus on his work project had him intense for the past couple of weeks. The positive outcome is an obvious relief to him. She loves Alex. Deeply. She’s certain about how he feels about her. Alex turns to get more comfortable and wakes himself up. Noticing Leelee watching him, he apologizes, and sits up. I haven’t even asked you about your day, Honey.

I do have something I want to talk to you about, Alex. Sure, Babe. What’s going on? You were very firm about waiting to have a baby. I didn’t agree. It upset me. But I’ve decided to go along with you. It’s true, we don’t have to rush. Oh, that’s great, Leelee. He’s thrilled. Maybe a little too much. I do want to have kids. You know I do. Just not now. Hang on a minute, Alex. Let me finish.

Marty will return next Friday!